How Can I Manage Anxiety Through Effective Techniques?

Confronting Inner Turmoil: A Moment of Reflection and Resilience in Managing Anxiety

Anxiety frequently poses a challenge for individuals with overcontrolled coping mechanisms. Although conventional anxiety treatments typically aim to alleviate distress, Radically Open Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (RO DBT) adopts a distinct strategy.

What It Means to Be Overcontrolled?

Being overcontrolled refers to a personality style characterised by excessive self-discipline, restraint, and a tendency to suppress emotions and impulses.

Individuals who are overcontrolled often exhibit the following traits:

• Emotional Suppression: A tendency to hide or deny feelings, leading to emotional numbness.

• Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards for oneself and others, often resulting in dissatisfaction.

• Rigidity: Difficulty adapting to change or being flexible in thoughts and behaviors.

• Social Withdrawal: Avoidance of social interactions due to fear of judgment or a desire to maintain control.

• High Self-Criticism: A harsh internal dialogue that focuses on perceived failures and shortcomings.

  
  

These characteristics can contribute to increased anxiety and hinder one's ability to connect with others, making it essential for individuals with overcontrolled traits to explore alternative therapeutic approaches like RO DBT that encourage openness and emotional expression.

So instead of controlling or avoiding anxiety, RO DBT encourages openness, social connection, and flexibility. Here are some key RO DBT techniques to help manage anxiety more effectively.

1. Self-Enquiry: Get Curious About Your Anxiety

Instead of avoiding or suppressing anxious feelings, RO DBT encourages self-enquiry—gently questioning your experience with openness and curiosity.

Ask yourself:

• What am I afraid of?

• What emotions am I avoiding?

• How might my assumptions about control or uncertainty be influencing my anxiety?

  
  

By adopting a stance of curiosity rather than avoidance, you create space for new perspectives and greater emotional flexibility.

2. Activating the Social Safety System

Anxiety can push us into fight-or-flight mode, making us withdraw or become rigid. RO DBT teaches that activating our social safety system—our natural ability to feel safe and connected with others—can help calm anxiety. Ways to do this include:

• Making friendly eye contact

• Using a warm, relaxed facial expression

• Engaging in prosocial gestures, like smiling or small talk

• Seeking out supportive and validating social interactions

  
  

These small behaviours signal to your brain that you are safe, reducing anxiety naturally.

3. Opposite Action to Unwanted Inhibitions

Many people with overcontrolled tendencies respond to anxiety by shutting down, over-preparing, or avoiding situations entirely. RO DBT encourages the opposite action—doing the thing you feel anxious about instead of avoiding it.

For example:

• If you feel like avoiding a social event, commit to going and engaging in at least one meaningful conversation.

• If you hesitate to speak up, practice expressing your thoughts openly in low-stakes situations.

  
  

The goal is to break rigid patterns and cultivate psychological flexibility.

4. Radical Openness: Embracing Uncertainty

Overcontrolled individuals often seek certainty and predictability, which can fuel anxiety. RO DBT teaches that embracing uncertainty is a key step toward reducing anxious suffering.

Instead of striving for control, try these practices:

• Reframe uncertainty as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat.

• Use mindful awareness to notice when you are clinging to certainty.

• Remind yourself that discomfort is temporary and that openness leads to new experiences.

  
  

5. Neuroregulatory Skills: Soothing the Nervous System

Anxiety often manifests physically—tense muscles, shallow breathing, or a racing heart. RO DBT includes neuroregulatory practices that help shift the body into a state of safety and calm.

Techniques include:

• Breathwork: Try slowing your exhale to engage the parasympathetic nervous system.

• Movement: Activities like walking, stretching, or dancing can release tension.

• Temperature Regulation: Holding an ice cube or splashing cool water on your face can reset your nervous system.

  
  

6. Playfulness and Lightheartedness

RO DBT teaches that anxiety thrives in seriousness and rigidity. Introducing humor, play, and spontaneity into your life can reduce anxious distress.

Try:

• Watching a funny show or sharing jokes with friends.

• Engaging in a creative or playful activity.

• Practicing self-compassion by laughing at your own mistakes instead of ruminating on them.

  
  

Final Thoughts

RO DBT offers a refreshing take on managing anxiety by encouraging openness, social connection, and flexibility. Instead of working against anxiety, these techniques help you lean into discomfort with curiosity and resilience. By practicing radical openness, activating your social safety system, and using neuroregulatory skills, you can cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Are you ready to approach anxiety differently?

Start with small steps, and remember: openness, not control, is the key to lasting change.